Two Missed Calls

Missed phone calls have given me a soft spot depending on the person and the circumstance. I've written about missed calls before from my past. But this one was different. 

I hadn't looked at my phone in about an hour. It was sitting in my purse while I did other things. As we wrapped up and got ready to go home, my husband started the car and I buckled myself in. I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. The process was instinct now. When I pressed the button and saw the Home Screen light up, chills went down my body.

I had two missed calls from "Donna."

The only "Donna" who has ever meant anything to me was my mother. And on this Sunday afternoon, the first thought that entered my mind was I had missed two calls from my mother. 

It sounds absurd. My mother has been dead for over 20 years. She never had her own cell phone number. I've never even inputted her name or number into my cell phone because I received my first cell phone a year and a half after she died. Why in the world did my mind automatically think that? 

Because at the very core of my being, my mother is still very much a part of my life. No, I don't think about her 24/7. No, my family and I will never see her with our eyes. But a part of her is always with me and I can't change that even if I wanted to. 

***

Yes, I put Donna's number in my phone. She's a government employee I was introduced to and she and I will be getting in touch periodically. When we first met, my mind did register her name being the same as my mother's. That was my conscious thought. But she's not more than someone I need to interact with once a month for a short phone call. I added her name and number to my phone so I wouldn't ignore it thinking it was a spam call. 

When I received these calls from her, it was only the second time we were in touch. And instead of my brain registering her as the government employee whose number I had saved in my phone, my mind took me directly to my mother's name. 

This is what grief looks like 20 years later. The most outlandish thought of having a missed call from my deceased mother supersedes reasonable thought of missing a call from a stranger. 

Iron Chef

About a month and a half ago, I randomly came across a Facebook ad and saw one of the TV chefs I watched as a child was going to be at a nearby Costco. Mentally, I made a note of this time and date and told myself I was going to go. When the day arrived, it was cloudy with impending rain. I debated if I actually wanted to drive across town to catch this chef in person. My kids ended up being slightly antsy but cooperative so we were able to get loaded up and drive over. 

The kids enjoyed their samples and I enjoyed meeting an Iron Chef in person. I've watched so many cooking shows over the years, his included, and this felt too special to pass up. The irony was nobody else there seemed to have any idea who he was. 

Who knew I'd meet an Iron Chef at a Costco. 😆 

A while after this Costco adventure, we turned on the TV, and guess who's cooking show was airing? Yup, Chef Ming Tsai. The kids were excitedly saying they had seen him before and watched his entire show even though that was not the intent of originally turning on the TV. It also just happened he was making salmon on his show and we were thawing salmon for dinner that evening. We decided to spontaneously try his salmon recipe which wasn't bad at all. If I made it again, I think I'd marinate the salmon or add more salt and pepper. Perhaps this was me not following the recipe because I didn't know how salty the sauce would be since it has a lot of strong flavors already. Regardless, it's a recipe I'd try again with or without some amendments. 

This isn't the first recipe from him we've tried. I've altered his 炸酱面 recipe over the years, but his is the one I originally started with many years ago. Cooking is so personal because it's a way of sharing your life, your memories, your flavors, with someone else. It's a way to pass down memories. 

This week, I received my signed copy of my cookbook. I can't wait to rifle through and check out all the recipes and mark some I want to try. 

I loved watching TV as a child growing up. My mother always said, if you're going to watch so much TV, you better have something to show for the programs you watch. I'm proud to say I knew his name before he became an Iron Chef, and hopefully, my cooking skills can justify all the hours I spent watching cooking shows on Saturday afternoon PBS. 😀