Digging for Diamonds

When I was in 5th grade, I was picked up at 2:00 everyday in the afternoon to go to the middle school for 7th period math. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I had an extra long school day: 7:45 am - 3:30 pm. I had approximately 20-30 minutes of "study hall" in the middle so. I could finish some work, but it made for long days. 

The bus driver who picked me up drove bus number 63. I blogged about this bus and driver specifically in another post. What I wanted to share today has to do with a specific memory from that year. Right before spring break, I was talking to Mr. Bill, the bus driver, and he was telling me about his plans to go to Arkansas and visit a diamond mine. I was intrigued. He told me if he found one, he was going to keep it. If he found two, he was going to give me one. Little did I know as a 5th grader, the odds of actually finding a diamond at the mine are pretty slim. 

After spring break, I returned to school and excitedly waited to be picked up and taken to the middle school. We talked about our spring breaks. I don't remember what I did, but it probably wasn't anything special. He told me unfortunately he didn't get to go to the diamond mine. 

***

This past weekend, I got to go. 

I was talking to a friend and she told me about a trip they were planning to the diamond mine. Jokingly, she asked me if I wanted to go. I seriously did! I talked to my husband about it and we decided to go. We were going to leave Friday and then head home Saturday. I would never have made such an impromptu decision like this if we didn't have friends to prod us. I mean, it's a 4-hour drive away. We could have gone as a DINK couple years ago. But we didn't. Instead, we decided to work on our house and learn how to renovate instead. Not a bad trade, but a different trade. Construction costs have practically doubled now since pre-Covid, so no real regrets there.

Sadly, our friends didn't get to join us because they got Covid during the middle of the week and weren't feeling great. My husband and I ended up taking our two kids on a less than 24 hour long trip to Arkansas and back.

I got to check off a location on my bucket list after 20 years. 

If you actually want to dig for diamonds, taking young children along with you is really difficult for a number of reasons.

- it's hot

- there's quite a bit of walking involved

- they mess up your work

I overheard a father talking to his son at the washing station because his son had dumped the batch of rocks his father wanted to keep. That wasn't fun for either party. 

Needless to say, we didn't dig very much and we didn't find a diamond, but the overall experience was fun and new. My daughter walked around with us, poked around in the dirt, and washed out some buckets of rock with us. My son ate cheerios half the time because he had refused to eat breakfast and played on my cell phone for the other half of the time. He had no interest in poking in the dirt with a bucket and a shovel. I actually enjoyed people watching for a while when we were resting in the shade and commiserating with their parenting struggles. 

It was hot.

Am I sad we didn't find a diamond? Not really. The realist in me was thinking what a terrible idea it was to bring two children ages 4 and 2 to walk around looking at dirt on a hot summer day. The dreamer in me was thinking how surreal it was I was able to fulfill this visit 20 years later.

Kind of Like a Motorcycle

The story behind my daughter's name is not one I would call "special." It's actually kind of amusing now that I think about it. But something about that memory has forever stayed with me, enough for me to name my daughter after that child.

I had just graduated from high school and I was working at an after-school program for the summer. I was in charge of a 2nd or 3rd grade class - my memory fails me on which one it actually was anymore. My shift started around 11 am and I served them lunch. The ones who didn't finish their work from the morning would finish it after lunch and I would help them complete their assignments if they had questions. Then I stayed with the class all afternoon as they rotated their play areas. I'd leave work around 5 or 6 pm. 

One day at work, one of the girls came up to me and asked me a question. I answered it, and she responded, "I get you, I get you" in this squeaky little girl voice. I loved it. Something about the sound and the slight scratchy yet cuteness in her voice. She was also beautiful, not model-worthy, but I never thought that was what made children beautiful. There's something about messy hair, small clothing, and an innocent face that has a radiant beauty no amount of put-together-ness-perfection can match. And I remembered her name.

I remembered her name all these years, and when my daughter was born, I decided to give her the same name. It's not that I wanted her to have a squeaky voice or to be like this little girl from my memories. It was just a positive association I had with this name. 

After four years, it finally happened. We were going about out evening and my daughter was telling me about her evening. My husband had taken the kids out while I was teaching, and after they returned, we were all getting ready for bed. I asked her what she did with Daddy and she was telling me. I was asking questions to clarify what she was telling me. At once point, she was trying to explain to me sitting on a four wheeler.

Mommy: Was it a jeep?

S: No, it wasn't a jeep. It was kind of like a motorcycle, but not a motorcycle, but it kind of looked like a motorcycle but it wasn't a motorcycle. 

"kind of like a motorcycle, but not a motorcycle"

And then that moment hit me, just like it had when I'd heard that little girl say to me, "I get you, I get you." The sound of my daughter's voice and what she was saying had this cuteness to it: the cute repetivive phrasing of her sentence and her perfectly enunciated English at four. 

I can't really explain why certain words and phrases and how they are said can sound so special when what's being said has no special meaning at all. But this was one of them. 

The Great Outdoors

We've done a lot to our house over the years, but the one part of the house we were afraid to mess with was the outdoors. We do our weekly mows and annual tree and bush trimmings, but besides that, we've left it alone. 

When we moved in there was a deck out back. It was not in good shape, it was painted a color we didn't like, and it was raised about a foot off the ground. There was one spot under the roofline where the total height was only about five and a half feet. So most of us (with the exception of myself) would have to duck to get on and off the deck. Not convenient.

After our first round of renovations, I made a photo book, and as a joke, included a picture of our deck on the back with the caption "...to be continued..."

That summer, my husband and I tore down the deck and he pulled up every single post set in concrete with the help of our neighbor and his farm jack. Very useful, too, if you ever want to rip out your own bushes, some small trees, or in our case, concrete pieces. 

And so that's how it has been for all the years up to the present. Just an empty patch of grass past the existing patio that came with the house. 

Photo courtesy of my two-year-old. Excuse his finger.

Last month, we finally continued what was to be continued from seven years ago. We got quotes, found a company, and had our patio extended with concrete pavers. The work took two days and we can't be more pleased with the result. 

Our backyard actually feels bigger because we have more usable space where the kids can now play on a flat surface, we can place chairs further out in our yard and enjoy more of the night sky in the evenings. My potted plant babies can also serve as patio decor now that they sit atop a neatly paved flat surface. 

Our backyard won't be model home worthy, and that isn't my goal, but being able to see this space done and usable for us and our kids to enjoy has been well worth the money. I joking told a friend after it was done, "The money didn't even hurt!" 

I've stepped outside on the patio multiple times everyday since it was completed, mostly out of obligation to water my plants. But I think simply the fact that it is done and such a nicer space to be in makes me want to spend more time out there. Another satisfying house project (that wasn't DIY!) in the books. 😊

Unsettled

I was never a Johnny Depp fan. I've seen a few of the POTC movies, I played the orchestral arrangement of the soundtrack in orchestra. Besides that, he was just another famous person to me. I've never heard of Amber Heard's name until this case began. 

When it first started, the only thing I knew was that his character doesn't have the best reputation, so if it bled into his actual life at all, then of course he's liable. Actors are not necessarily who they seem to be in the roles they play, but the associations we place on them are real. Just think of Friends. We will forever remember Jennifer Aniston as Rachel, Matt LeBlanc as Joey, David Schwimmer as Ross, Courtney Cox as Monica, Matthew Perry as Chandler, and Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe. Have they played other roles in other films and shows? Yes. Can anyone name them as easily? Probably not.

I didn't watch every second of court footage from this case. I did read up on some of the summaries and I've read various articles on the verdict. I wasn't sure how to feel after reading this verdict. I feel unsettled honestly. There are so many questions left unanswered, and probably will never have concrete answers to. Is Amber Heard lying? Did Johnny Depp win mainly because of his reputation and fame? How much of the information stated in the trial from either side was twisted? Was the jury bias?

You might read this and you want to respond in saying Amber Heard was a liar and can't be trusted in what she says. You may think her testifying was dramatized. You might read this and you might want to respond in saying just because you abuse alcohol and drugs does not mean you are also abusive. You may also want to respond in saying Johnny Depp has power and influence as a famous male. You may simply put it as his fanbase is bias. 

Here's what I know. Since the Me Too movement began, lots of women have started coming out in telling their stories and sharing their truths. Since the Me Too movement began, lots of women have also been lying for their own gain. I personally know people who have been victims of abuse and unable to do anything about it. I personally know people who have lied and have caused innocent people to become victims. I know at least one innocent person in jail right now, and I'm sure there are others I'm not personally acquainted with. I've received phone calls from prison. I've made phone calls to prisons to ask questions. I've driven to and visited someone in prison. I've written letters to someone in prison. I've received letters from someone in prison. 

I wish I could say this is a stock photo. It's not.
Each one of these appears in letters I receive. 

Amber Heard doesn't have to go to prison. Johnny Depp wouldn't either if he were liable. If you're going to tell me Amber Heard got screwed over by this case, I'm not going to say I disagree with you. But I'm going to tell you, women lie. Girls have abused their privileges from Me Too. and I know as close to first hand without it being myself what it's like to suffer. 

The law doesn't care about the truth. The law doesn't care about innocence. I've seen it with my own eyes with my friend. Maybe now you believe you've seen it through Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

Innocent until proven guilty is a lie.