My Year in Books

I read 12 books this year. It doesn't sound like a lot, and I know it's not. I used to read nearly 12 books a semester for one English course. Life is very different now and the demands on my time are different. I was pretty intentional about the books I read. They're not all spectacular books, but there was a reason, whether random or logical, why I chose to read them. So in the order I read them, here they are:

1-5. The Selection Series: The Selection, The Elite, The One, The Heir, The Crown - Kiera Cass

I actually came across these books from the scholastic website. I was cross referencing some reading levels of books and came across this series. I did some searching online to see what the premise of them was. It sounded interesting enough to be some light entertainment reading so I started. Perhaps it was the girly girl inside of me, but I was pretty hooked. Before I knew it, I'd finished the three books in the first series as well as the two books in the second in about two months. They're described as Hunger Games meets The Bachelor. That's accurate. 

6. The Pearl - Steinbeck

In 9th grade English, we were offered extra credit at the end of the year if we wanted to improve our grades for the last six weeks. Our extra credit was to read this book and write an essay after reflecting on...a theme(?) within the book. I can't remember the topic anymore, but that's what remains in my memory. Being a teenager, I didn't read the complete book, looked up some cliff notes, and wrote an essay that was probably really bad. I don't remember if I got the extra credit or not. 

Over 15 years later, I still remember this, and I decided to read it again. And I did. I read the whole book and I was left stunned. Do not underestimate this book by its "low" reading level or the length of the book. It is packed with thought provoking themes and "mind games." I found the ending quite creepy as an adult.

This is one of those books I would say I'm glad I read, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to read it again. 

7. The One Thing You'd Save - Linda Sue Park

This book caught my eye at the library. I was with my children looking at books in the children's section when I saw this book propped up on top of the shelves. The title intrigued me and I checked it out for myself to read. 

This book is probably written for anywhere from a 2nd-4th grade reading level depending on how advanced a student is. I love the emphasis on perspective in this book. Something important to one person may not seem important to someone else. It's the start of empathy. 

8. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

One of my students mentioned to me in a lesson that she had borrowed this book from a friend to read. I'd heard of the title before but hadn't read the book. Out of curiosity, I read it myself. It was interesting, but had my student not mentioned it to me, I would have probably never thought to pick it up and read it myself. 

9. One Time - Sharon Creech 

I have loved Sharon Creech's books since I was in grade school. My all time favorite book is still Walk Two Moons. I've already written about why I love that book. I saw she had published this book rather recently so I wanted to read it and see what kind of impression it would leave on me. It was okay. I honestly didn't remember what the book was about since I read it almost six months ago. After a quick search online to refresh my memory, the vague plot line came back to me. Another one of those books being a nice read but not special. 

10. Boundaries - Henry Cloud and John Townsend 

I remember hearing about this book in college. A few people I knew were reading it or had read it. I didn't think much about it at the time. This summer, one of my friends told me she was reading it. I decided to read it as well and it turned out to be a great read. Since reading this book, I think I've found a lot of freedom in the way I live my life and make decisions. Much of this book seems like common sense. However, having it explained and written out gives it new perspective. Not only has this book helped me feel more in control of my life, but I feel like I can better manage my business and make decisions. I'm definitely a feelings-oriented person, but reading this book has helped me to see situations more logically and remove some of the feelings. 

There are a couple ideas within the book I don't agree with 100%, but the general premise of the book I think is helpful to understand the decisions we make, we should make, and why we make them. It is based on Biblical teachings so if you don't share perspective with me there, I can't fully recommend this book to you. 

11. Crying in H Mart - Michelle Zauner 

I read this book because I saw one friend post about it on Facebook. I'd heard about it and seen it elsewhere, but I didn't choose to read it until I saw my friend's post.  Honestly, it hit me differently than I thought it would from seeing the hype about this book. Before reading it, I think I thought I would relate more to her because we had experienced similar upbringings and experiences. After reading it, I think it made me realize even more what I never was able to experience: I never got to be an adult next to my mother. 

I could write a whole other blog solely on this, so I'll leave it be for now.

12. It Ends With Us - Colleen Hoover

This book probably ended up on many people's reading lists for 2022 even though it was published six years ago. That's the power of social media. I saw it recommended on a few other people's posts and thought I'd read it to see what the hype was. It's not your typical romance novel which I liked, and although the book is fiction, it is based off non-fiction people. 

This was one of those books for me where I was sad when it was over. I spent the whole book getting to know these characters and living their lives through a third-party lens, and then when the book ends, everything ends. It's that feeling of breaking up with someone except it's people in a book. I wanted to keep following along and seeing what would happen to them, but I can't because the book ended. 

And that's why authors write sequels. The sequel actually came out this year, but I can't justify purchasing books for fun reading like this, so as of today, I am still on the library waitlist for this book. It'll probably end up on next year's book list. :)

Any recommendations for next year? I don't plan these in advance. This list just made itself as the year passed. Always open to suggestions!

The Scars We Carry

My friend gave my daughter a pair of glittery shoes her daughters had outgrown when we were over for a playdate a while back. My daughter instantly loved them and wanted to wear them everywhere. When we got home, she wore them inside the house for the longest time. Then she started wearing them out and she'd wear them with pants, with dresses, with socks on her feet, barefoot. She wore them a lot.

The shoes have since lost their velcro stickiness and the little embellishments are coming off the toes, but she wore them a lot and she loved them a lot. 

After my friend gave my daughter the shoes and the kids were playing, I told my friend about my own shoe story because I had once wanted a similar pair. When I was younger, my dad took me shoe shopping. I was looking for a pair of dress shoes to wear to piano competitions and performances. Although not as fast as most, my feet were still growing and I needed new shoes periodically with my 1-2 piano competitions every year and seasonal recitals. At the store, I found a pair of shoes I liked but they didn't have my size in stock. I ended up purchasing a different pair of shoes.

Another time when all of us went shopping, I somehow ended up back in the shoe section to browse. They had the shoe I wanted and in my size. My dad said I could have them since they weren't here last time we came. He put them in the cart and we met up with my mom and my brother. When she saw the shoes in the cart, she started asking questions and getting angry. Why were we buying those shoes? Why did I need them? 

My dad responded by telling her they were the ones I wanted last time but they didn't have my size. Now they had my size, he was going to buy them. Then, they started arguing in the middle of an aisle at the store. My mom would take the shoes and put them on the shelf to the side. My dad took the shoes and put them back in the cart. My brother and I stood awkwardly to the side, not knowing what to do. 

I'm sure other people in the store were hearing and seeing what was happening. In my memory of the event, I vaguely see a person or two behind them as they notice the commotion in the aisle and walk away. Whether or not that is my memory being changed or if it actually happened, I will never know. 

In my head, I remember just removing the box of shoes from the cart myself and setting them aside on a nearby shelf. I remember saying to them I didn't want the shoes anymore just so they'd stop fighting in the middle of the store. I did not get the shoes. I had many pairs of beautiful shoes as I grew up, but none were the pink glittery flats I had eyed as a child and wanted at one point in my life. 

Not the exact ones, but something very similar. 

As parents, we will always shape our children to some degree to become versions of ourselves. Our children have the freedom to take what they want and leave the rest as they grow up and become individuals themselves, but the influence is undoubtedly there. Since then, I've found my own truth in the situation; my mother didn't like the shoes. She didn't like the way they looked, and she didn't want to buy them for me. 

Being a parent myself, I've had to remind myself of both spectrums. I do not buy my children everything they want. But I do think about their requests and sometimes, they get a random surprise or toy just because for absolutely no reason. I hope my children do not have the same scars I do when they grow up. 

I need to write this story into my daughter's journal. I want her to remember the auntie who gave her the glitter shoes she loved as a child. And I want her to remember fondly the joy she had when she wore those shoes. And maybe, someday, she will tell her stories to her own children. 

I got to watch my daughter’s face light up the way mine would have. It’s a different kind of joy. 

*sidenote: my daughter watched me cry as I wrote this blog. she didn't say anything. but part of me is so curious if/what she will remember from this moment*

The Fuzzy Yellow Diary

When I was in 2nd grade, I asked my mother for a fuzzy yellow diary from a school book order. She actually bought it for me.

I started writing in it when I was around nine years old. I wrote almost daily entries about what happened during my day. A lot of it was simple factual things. Sometimes, I would insert a little bit of opinion.

October 19, 1999: I got a 100 on my communities test and on my simple machines test.

So I was a pretty good student in 3rd grade....

December 13, 1999: I got a 67 for social studies.

...or not. 

December 30, 1999: Yesterday, I got a vase, a decoration, and a book of brainteasers.

I still have this vase, decoration, and probably the book of brainteasers although that one is not at my house. 

January 7, 2000: We get to use the internet today in PACE.

The internet must have been a very exciting thing in the year 2000.

January 18, 2000: Today I got to make kaleidoscopes [sic]. I also got to make a gallon guy. Tomorrow I am having a test.

Who remembers making gallon guys in school? Anybody? I learned my volume measurement equivalents from that. I can still picture it in my head. Counting all those cup fingers....

January 22, 2000: Today I did not have to go to Chinese school. That is good because...I can play with my doll house. I love my KALEIDOSCOPE. 

This kaleidoscope. I still remember it too. Made it out of a Pringle's can and an applesauce cup. My PACE teacher provided the mirrors to go inside and drilled the hole in the bottom of the can. I put little fake gems in mine. It made for a really pretty kaleidoscope. We wrapped the outside in a tessellation print we made on the computer. Mine was matted on pink construction paper. Is it strange I can remember all this in detail? Also, if you'd asked me how to spell kaleidoscope right off the bat today, there's a 99% chance I would not have spelled it right. Good for me for spelling it right in my diary as a nine year-old.

January 25, 2000: Today I went to PACE. It was really boring because we had to go on the internet. I want to shred those bad papers. 

Oops. The internet got boring again. Also, the extent of how bad those papers were was probably only to evade a scolding from my mom. They don't hold a candle to the "bad papers" in today's news. 😐 

Can we just take a minute to admire my cursive as a 9/10 year old? 

It's amazing looking back and reading these diary entries and being able to know exactly what I was referring to in them. Since this diary, I've kept 20 complete years of diary entries and it is still a habit I continue to this day. When friends used to come over to hang out during high school, they'd joke about finding my diary and reading it. I was never fearful of them finding my diary. It was the other journals and notebooks I wrote. My diary was just a summary of the day's events. 

This year, I stumbled across the exact same diary I had received as a grade-schooler on a website for sale. I bought it. I'm planning on saving it for my daughter when she's a little bit older, can write cohesively, and see if she wants to pen down some of her own thoughts. It's not the same color as mine, but the overall style is the same. Ironically, when I google "fuzzy yellow diary" I cannot find this one on any of the large major retailers, so it was kind of a stroke of luck to find it elsewhere. 

If you know my daughter, don't tell her about this. 🙊 I haven't chosen when to surprise her with it, but it won't be for a long while. 

The Present

It's been a while since I chose to allot time to sit down and blog. Things have happened. There are stories in my head I both want to tell and can tell. But lately, it's just been about living life a day at a time with my kids.

With all the rain lately, my kids have wanted to go outside and walk with their new umbrellas. I told them the umbrellas were not toys and they could not walk around inside the house waving them about. I have learned from my own experience that umbrellas will break faster than you can use them in the rain if they are played with indoors like toys.

These are their butterfly umbrellas from the Butterfly Palace in Branson. My daughter was the first one who wanted an umbrella. Ironically, when we checked the price on Amazon for one with the same design, the Butterfly Palace actually sold it for a lower price. We decided to get her one...and of course my son wanted one, too. We humored him this time, also because we were on vacation. As long as they listen to me and follow directions, these umbrellas should last a while....let's hope. 😬

My daughter loves collecting things on her walks. She came home with this array of colorful leaves one afternoon. She really has a keen eye for unique/pretty things. Maybe one day she'll become a designer. Although...when I showed her our photo book from our house renovations, she said to me, "I want the house to look like that [old] again!" This little designer needs a bit more practice...

This past weekend we took the kids to Scheel's for the first time. They really enjoyed the outdoor statues before even stepping foot inside the store. 

My daughter thought he was Santa and kept calling him so. I corrected her multiple times he was Abraham Lincoln, but she didn't process any of that. The store was pretty fun. Fish tanks, a wildlife diorama, candy shop, and of course, the Ferris wheel. Not a bad outing for the morning. 

We went out for lunch after at one of our favorite pho restaurants. It was a special treat since we are rarely on the other side of town as an entire family of four. My son however, wanted to slide down into the seat more than he wanted to eat his lunch. I always thought I'd be the parent who would discipline and have my child sit up nicely on the seat and eat his/her lunch.

He did end up completely under the table at one point....

I actually don't do that much. I'm the parent who would rather enjoy my lunch in peace and let my kids do their thing. As long as they're not wasting the food and splaying it all over the table and seats, I'll let them be. Eventually, he sat back up and finished most of his lunch upright. If it's one thing I learned, kids with a good temperament will eventually do what they're supposed to do when they're ready to do it. Otherwise...I shouldn't waste my breath. 

Anyone else have wiggly two year olds who end up underneath the table at restaurants? 

Life is a lot of work right now. But it's also a lot of fun. ☺

The Things We Remember

I was randomly reminiscing. And somehow I remembered things from my past which have been hidden away in files in my brain. Not forgotten, but not brought back often. I can't remember how we became friends. I don't actually remember talking to her at all in seventh grade, and then somehow in eighth grade, we became really good friends. 

We had first period health together. It was our most dreaded and most "entertaining" class. The boys were very immature and the girls were probably a little, if not more than a little, uncomfortable the entire semester. I remember we were learning about family units in the textbook, and she pointed to the picture of the blended family and then pointed her finger back at herself. 

My job lets me relive my middle school memories every now and then....

We became really close that year. I asked her if she and her mom would go bra shopping with me because it was probably time for me to "upgrade" from the ones my mom had gotten me in 6th grade so I could make it through changing in the locker rooms during gym without being half naked. Her mom drove us to the mall and then went off to shop on her own while my friend and I walked around ourselves. That wasn't how I imagined it, but it was all right. (As an adult being so far removed, thinking back on how I survived adolescence without my mother is unfathomable. I don't know how I made it to present day, but I know I don't want to do it again.)

We talked on the phone when she could sneak in a call. There were many calls which ended abruptly to avoid getting caught. There were a few times I went over to her house and we actually got to hang out. I was her piano accompanist that year. It was one way to get to her house and hang out after our rehearsal. We signed each other's yearbooks at the end of the year and said we'd be friends forever. 

In high school, we slowly began to drift apart. She had other friends she became closer to and I had mine. I do remember she helped me track down the locker combination of the guy I was dating at the time so I could put something in it to surprise him. He told me later he figured that's what she was doing because she stood by his locker for so long. She moved a few years later so we didn't graduate together. I don't think I've spoken to her in nearly 15 years. 

Friendship is special in how it evolves over time. We are not truly friends anymore given we do not know each other's lives beyond what is posted on social media. But I still cherish what we had. Seeing that these memories randomly come back to me and I can still remember exactly which classroom we had health class and the approximate locations of where we sat in reference to the room, it can't mean nothing. I wouldn't have made it through eighth grade without her.

Converted

I am known for my practicality and frugality. Over the years, my habits have morphed a bit to adapt to changing life stages and needs, but for the most part, these two words still describe me very well. Whenever I text my husband after a shopping trip whether for groceries or fun, he never seems too shocked. Apparently I'm not capable of spending an absurd amount of money that would actually scare him. 😂 I'll take it as a compliment. 

My husband bought me flowers this year for my birthday. Flowers have never been my "thing" because I always viewed them as spending money on something I'd throw away. So why bother? While there is truth to that, I failed to factor in a lot of other points. Fresh flowers add to the overall ambiance. They bring joy when you look at them. And they actually last a long time when you take care of them properly.

This photo was taken on day 17 of displaying this bouquet. Not bad, right? You can definitely tell they're not fresh flowers by any means, but they still bring a bright cheeriness. On the flip side, keeping fresh flowers for 17 days is no easy task. You need to cut the stems regularly, change the water regularly, and remove dying foliage to prolong the life of the blooms. It's like owning a temporary pet. 

But they do still contrast nicely to the mess spread out around the table. I've just come to accept that our kitchen table and counters have stuff on them. I've tried cleaning, really. But when there's two other people living in the same house as me who aren't nearly as responsible or careful and like to bring things from one room to the next and have no sense of putting things in their place, it makes keeping spaces neat and tidy impossible. Yes, that was a run-on sentence and I'm well aware of that. The awkwardness of that sentence further accentuates the futileness and energy-sucking-tendencies of trying to keep a neat house with little people running around. 

I still wouldn't purchase fresh flowers on a normal basis, but every now and then, I could see myself buying a bouquet, bringing out our vases from hibernation, and setting out a display for a short while. 💐

Household Helpers

Yesterday, I took my children out spontaneously for lunch to meet a friend. Because it was spontaneous, my friend was already at the restaurant so I asked her to order for us so the food would be ready when I arrived with my kids. I sent her our order, she ordered for us, I drove to the restaurant, and I Venmo-ed her the money after. I didn't even know how much the entrees were when I told her to order them. 

It wasn't absurdly high, but it was indeed more than eating at McDonald's or Chick-fil-A. While driving there, I was thinking to myself, I've made it in life. I can order food without looking at the price first. Just kidding. But only half kidding. 

The older I get the more I notice myself wanting specific items of a certain quality. Growing up, I was not taught this. We bought the cheapest items possible only when necessary and did without if we could. This mentality, although beneficial in certain circumstances, was also very unhealthy in others. I never learned to appreciate the value of quality, and I didn't discover the value of saving my sanity until I grew up and became an adult. 

Around the house, there are a lot of things we own which I appreciate and am glad we purchased. For this post specifically, I wanted to share a few items which have been very useful for us but are not considered big ticket items.

1. Stainless Steel Straws

We purchased stainless steel straws last year because our kids love using straws. Is it more work than plastic? Yes, it is. But in the long run, it is both eco-friendly and cost effective. The pack of straws we purchased came with a cleaning brush. This is a must have. Without it, I would completely nix this item because that is the only way I can clean them. Because they are stainless steel, I have on occasion put them into the dishwasher. I haven't gotten to the point where I carry a reusable straw with me wherever we go, but when we are at home, these are the ones my kids use. 

2. Handheld Bug Zapper

I can't tell you what a difference these have made in our lives. Mosquitoes get into our house 95% of the time during the summer. It's almost more than a one to one ratio of one mosquito entering the house per day in the summer. I feel much more equipped to kill them and less annoyed when they enter the house because I know if I see one, chances are, I can get it. I've also gotten better at maneuvering the amount of air the zapper disturbs as I zero in on the mosquito to zap. Those little buggers are quite sensitive and if they feel air movement, they will start to fly away. I had many opportunities this summer to hone my technique. 

3. Nice Bath Mats

Years ago when I was shopping at Ross, we picked up some bath mats pretty inexpensively. We've used them for a good number of years, but I was starting to get annoyed because the pile was worn down and less plush than it should have been. You see, we have other bath mats in the house which were more expensive and better quality, and with comparable use, they have remained plush and comfortable to step onto when exiting the bath/shower. So one day, I decided I wanted a new bath mat. At first, we went to Home Goods to see what they had. Believe it or not, they did not have a bath mat which met my expectations, and their prices were not very discounted from any other department store. Then I went to Costco and found a foam bath mat with fur on top. My husband did not like the fur on top, and it was quite expensive. A few days later, we went to Sam's and I found the perfect foam bath mat at the perfect price. For the rest of my life, I think I will only purchase quality foam bath mats because they are the easiest to clean and feel the most comfortable. 

4. Squeegee 

We've only suctioned it once and it's been on ever since! Impressive. 

We renovated our bathroom over five years ago now. After installing frameless shower glass, we needed a way to keep it clean. My husband was the one who introduced me to squeegeeing a shower to keep it clean longer. We had an old squeegee we bought when we first got married and were using. However, after we installed a brand new beautiful bathroom with a new large glass door, we needed to upgrade. Squeegees can be found for as low as $2 and they can range up to about $20. Check the material of the blade. It makes a huge difference. The most expensive one I found was $133! Insane. Ours was just under $20 and it has been worth every dollar. I can't tell you the last time I cleaned our shower glass, but I can tell you the last time we squeegeed it! 

I still wouldn't consider myself someone who would spend money willy-nilly, but I'm definitely realizing moments in life when I think to myself, "I really wish I had a ____________."

I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so glad I tracked my small appliance usage this year (still going!) because I've learned a lot about my cooking habits and which kitchen gadgets have paid themselves off in time and efficiency. I'm even allowing myself to buy some new ones. 😇. Stay tuned!

New Window Treatments

When we moved in, the windows in my studio had brown faux wood blinds. After we had the room painted, the brown no longer matched the rest of the room. We also encountered a problem where the blinds were difficult to let down all the way. This was due to the fact that the windows have trim about 1/3 of the way up the bottom of the window. This caused a discrepancy in width if you were to measure at the very top or at the bottom of the window. The person who ordered the previous window treatments did not account for this and simply measured at the top where they would be installed. As a result, you could never really get the blinds to come down all the way in a smooth, easy manner. 

The original blinds (and windows).

When I was teaching, I noticed the sun would angle in through two different windows depending on the season. In the fall and winter, the sun would come streaming in through the left window. In the summer, the sun would come streaming in through the right window. Sunset in the summer months are more of a northwest sun vs a southwest sun during the winter. My solution over the years was to hang curtains to avoid the problem of the trim and to block out the sunlight during the various months.

The curtains did their job...but didn't add much for aesthetics.

The curtains sufficed for a long time, however, they've always looked unkempt and messy. They also gave the room an illusion of taking up more space because of the puffiness of the curtains. 

This summer, I was enlightened to zebra blinds. I like to call zebra blinds the contemporary version of a roller blind. Roller blinds have been around for a very long time. In fact, there was a rainbow colored roller blind covering the window in one of our bedrooms when we moved into the house. That has also since been removed and replaced. I also realized we could hang the blinds with an outside mount instead of an inside mount. This way, we did not run into the problem of the varying widths from the window trim. 

I ordered blind fabric samples months ago and we had discussed which kind of fabric and color to choose for my studio. After a while, the idea got put on the back-burner because it was a lot of money. One day, I saw in my inbox an email from the blinds website saying they were running 45% off zebra blinds! Normally, their site consistently has them at only 25% off. I told my husband and he told me to get them. I had to rummage around the house and dig for where the samples went because I'd misplaced them for a few months. After successfully finding the samples and measuring the window, I placed the order. 

On the day the blinds were supposed to be delivered, I took my children out in the morning for a bike ride around the neighborhood. When we came back, my daughter alerted me to a tag on our front door. FedEx had come by to deliver but did not leave the package because it required a signature. I was disappointed, but I made a mental note not to leave the house the next morning. 

Later that afternoon, I saw a FedEx truck stop in front of our house. The delivery driver came back and delivered it! I don't know if they're actually allowed or supposed to do this, but it was nice of him to make a second attempt on the same day. We ended up storing the blinds for a few days before we could install because it was going to be a minimum two day process. 

The first day, we were going to uninstall the curtain rod, remove the curtains, fill the screw holes, and touchup the paint. The second day, we were going to drill new holes for the new hardware and install the blinds. Everything was going great on the first evening as we uninstalled the rods and took the curtains down. Then, we opened up our spackle to fill the screw holes only to discover it had molded.

I wish I could tell you this was rocky road ice cream...it's not

In order to get our project going and keep the timeline, we needed to patch the holes so we could paint over them and let the paint dry. That evening, I tried a new trick - toothpaste! For holes 1/4 inch or smaller, you can use a white toothpaste in place of spackle to fill screw holes. Because we had small holes and we were not going to be making new ones anywhere near the old ones, we had no problem substituting toothpaste to fill the drywall holes. 

Thankfully, our five-year-old can of paint was still good and did not go bad. We do store it inside in a temperature-controlled climate rather than in the garage where it can get excessively hot and cold. Google says latex paint can keep for up to 10 years when stored properly so hopefully we can double its longevity. After touching up the paint, we walked around the house in search of places on the walls to touch up. There were a lot more than I had thought. Between stains from contractors, crayon on the wall, pen on the wall, and scuff marks, we were able to use up most of the paint I poured out. 

I forgot how beautiful the windows are exposed, but sadly, it is not practical for what I need.

The next evening, we measured, drilled new holes, and installed the zebra blinds, and by we, I mean mostly my husband. I am super pleased with the final result. These blinds do everything I want them to. They let in light so it doesn't feel like a cave of a room, but they also block out a good amount of light so my piano doesn't get damaged and I can keep the glare out of the room during sunset. 

Much more streamlined and neat.

It was a little painful to have to move the furniture back in front of the blinds because I use a round table as a desk in the corner of the room. I am now browsing various desks/secretary desks to see what I could use to better fit the space and still meet my needs for organization, storage, and infrequent writing use.

How many of my students do you think noticed and said something to me? 😆

Garden Updates

As the weather is starting to cool, I've been thinking of how to protect my plants for the winter and/or what to do with the plants I don't want to overwinter. First, some updates.

So the original basil growing in cups that I thought was basil is not actually basil. It's actually a tomato plant! I have no idea how I ended up with a tomato plant. I'd never intentionally planted tomato seeds, but we have composted some tomatoes that went bad or composted portions of the fruit we did not consume. There may have been a few seeds in there which didn't sterilize or die over time. Otherwise, I have no idea how I came to grow a tomato plant.

Unfortunately, tomato likes hot temperatures and we are winding down for the hot season. I don't know how much growth this tomato will get before I need some serious blanketing for winter, but we will see. If anyone has any advice, I am open!

As for actual basil, I actually tried again for the 3rd or 4th (I lost count...) time to grow them from seed. I had purchased seeds in the spring to grow my own basil, but about a month ago, my sweet neighbor gave me a ton of basil she'd cut from her garden. She purposely left the flowers on top so if I wanted to save the seeds to attempt to grow myself, I could. 

Yup, she was right. I saved the seeds. Basil seeds are really tricky to get out of the flower. Each flower has about 20 seeds in it. However, these 20 seeds are grouped in pods of about 3-4. And each of the pods has to be opened for the dried seeds to fall out. I tried simply shaking the seed pods in a glass jar fully expecting the little seeds to pop out and separate from the flower. No such luck. I used my fingers and separated the flower pod and removed all the seeds by hand.

Before separating the seeds.

After separating the seeds.

I'm sure actual seed farmers have a much more efficient technique for how they remove basil seeds. Unfortunately, I don't. 

We'll call this my 4th attempt. For my 4th attempt at growing basil from seed, I took two styrofoam cups and grew one with my neighbor's seeds and one with the seeds I purchased. Within 4 days, I saw seedlings sprout from the seeds I purchased. The following day, I saw one seedling sprout from the seeds from my neighbor's plant. 

Basil! Actual...basil...

Now this time I know for sure these are basil seedlings...they are the only seed I put in. AND the stems are not furry. I do plan on continuing to grow my basil indoors through the winter because these plants are too small to make it outside and basil is not frost hardy. However, I've noticed after the initial sprouting, I have a hard time getting true leaves to grow.

From reading online, I've seen others say plants will take some time after sprouting to focus on growing roots so it looks like the growth is stagnant from the top. I've also read basil needs moist soil but doesn't like to be overwatered. 🤔 That's a tricky balance...

Lastly, an update on my peppers. I harvested some! Dixie cup is for size comparison. 

Harvest #1 These I ate.

Harvest #2. Pepper on the left started going bad so I had to remove it.
The two on the right went to my dad. 

They're definitely on the smaller side, but my first harvest was a forced harvest. One of them actually became too heavy and broke off the plant so I had to harvest it or trash it. The second one, I decided to remove because I had noticed it was not growing, but the same plant had two more peppers coming in. Rather than have this tiny pepper continue to take nutrients from the other two, I decided to cut it off early and allow the other two peppers to continue growing - they have grown in size every day when I check so I think I made the right call in this decision. 

They don't taste the same as store-bought bell peppers, but they're pretty tasty. Quite satisfying getting to eat something I grew myself. 😊

Mortified

15 years ago, I wrote an embarrassing note on Facebook asking my friends to vote for me in a piano competition. This competition had a voting aspect in addition to the live performance, and let's be honest, you have to play the game to even have a chance at winning it. 

"hey you guys. vote for me to win this piano competition my teacher submitted my cd to :D:D:D:D:D please please please omg.

go to krld.com

scroll down on the left and click on the section that says something about a young artist's competition
and then vote for me :D

and tell all your friends at college/school/work to vote for me too :]
(i had a late start on this, my teacher submitted my cd late...-.-")

if you have questions IM me/comment and i'll help you (i'm at the library writing this and i can't open multiple windows to show you guys....)

omggg pleasee vote for me thanks so much :D

and if you're friends with jason wang...well, our friendship is questionable then.

just kidding. but don't vote him, vote me :[
thanks."

The link doesn't exist anymore and the recording of my performance is long gone. I have a master copy of the audio on a CD, but that CD doesn't play anymore so there is no actual remaining version of my performance from 2007. 

18 tracks...and none play

This post was from October 10 of 2007. Just over a month later, I stopped taking piano lessons. I was still arguably at the peak of my piano career, and potentially the start of something greater. But why? A lot changes when you're a teenager, and I acknowledge my portion of responsibility for why I chose to stop. My interests were changing. I wanted to see my friends on the weekend instead of spending them at a piano lesson. But that wasn't the breaking point. 

At the awards ceremony for the same competition this voting was for, my dad and I sat in the auditorium and waited for the ceremony to begin. My teacher was not present as he was on a trip overseas. As I flipped through the program and read the different bios for the other competitors and judges, I noticed that my teacher was listed as a judge for this competition. I was in shock. He had told me he was involved in the competition but reassured me he was not a judge. And yet, here he was, his photo, his bio, on the judges page. Moments later, I heard a parent comment from the row behind me: this girl's teacher is a judge. 

I was mortified. 

How could he do this to me? I didn't care I wasn't a winner that evening. All I wanted was to leave and not have anyone notice me or see my face or recognize me from that horrid program book. 

When he returned from his trip he told me we could resume lessons at our normal time. I told my dad to tell him I was quitting and not having anymore lessons. My dad sent him an email and received the angriest reply filled with bitterness and hate. My dad forwarded me the email.

I would like to know exactly why Cathy wants to quit her piano lesson? Something has to do with my teaching?  To just thank me for all the years and say nothing else are completely unconscionable!

 

It's a waste that she quits piano altogether before she finishes her high school years.  She has such a great potential, but I guess her priority has changed.  To be honest with you, she could have won the first prize with The DALLAS SOLO PIANO COMPETITION if she had tried a little bit more harder [sic].  I didn't think she was focused on the competition because all she talked about was her birthday party, her friends, her homework, etc........

For the past three months, the only other piece that I asked her to work on is a movement of a Schumann's piano concerto.  She absolutely refused to work on it, and regarded that piece of music as a piece of shit.  I couldn't believe thay kind of disrespect exhibited to a revered Classical composer by any piano student.  I could have given her another piece to work on, because I thought she would change her mind if she tried a little bit harder.  But no chance! 
  
Cathy, all I want to say to you is that if your mother were alive, she would be very disappointed that you quit studying piano with me because if she knew I wasn't the teacher meant for you, she could have told me to stop teaching you long ago!

Before closing this e-mail, I just want to make it clear that I accept Cathy's termination of piano lessons, and with such an acceptance she will also no longer be my student in the near or distant future. 

For more than 10 years after he sent this email, I've held onto this forced guilt because I've always felt like I did something wrong. It's only been in the last five or so years when I've been able to understand that I was not at fault at all. In fact, 99% of what he wrote about in the email is just an angry rant with no truth basis to it. 

1. He said I could have won 1st prize at that piano competition (different one from the voting submission) instead of the 3rd prize I was awarded. That is incorrect. He was not a judge. He did not hear how the other competitors played. He didn't even hear how I played. He wasn't there! To make that statement is an assumption and completely wrong. I actually met the young man who won 1st prize a year after that competition completely by chance. He had moved from California the year before, and he was very talented. We are friends on Facebook.    

The other thing my teacher never knew was I drove myself to that competition. Having an awkward relationship with my father, I did not tell him I had a competition until the morning of. He told me he had a conflict and couldn't drive me to the competition. My dad just shrugged and told me not to compete. I told him I'd drive myself. I'd never driven into the city before, but I set my mind to drive myself and take local roads all the way down. Because I had practiced and worked hard for the competition. If I was going to lose, I was going to lose honorably and take my chances instead of skip out. My teacher never knew. 

2. He said I wasn't focused on the competition because I was too focused on my birthday party, my friends, and homework. Can I not prioritize my birthday? Is that so wrong? Should I not value my friends as important? I don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't! I valued my homework and thought it should have a priority to get done! Wow! Blasphemy! 😑

3. He said I regarded the Shumann concerto as a piece of shit. Those words he made up and said himself. I never said anything to slam the Schumann concerto. All I did was not practice and make 0 progress on the piece. Now you have to understand, I was working on other pieces. I had other competitions with other pieces to continue practicing. I just did not learn that new piece. I was still practicing and playing other pieces. Those are two very different issues at hand. He said he could give me another piece to work on but he never offered. I never got offered another concerto. He was focused on me learning the Shumann, and when it didn't happen, he kept pushing. If I thought this concerto was a piece of shit, I would have burned it a long time ago. I didn't. I still have the music on my shelf in my studio. A part of me wants to learn it, but I haven't been able to bring myself to because of the memory it holds. What a shame...the one person who was supposed to foster and encourage has destroyed and uglified. 

Irony - if I had told my teacher I didn't want to learn it, he would have given me some response as to why I should learn it and me not wanting to learn it was my problem. How do I know he would have said this? At one of my piano competitions when I was around 14 or 15, he asked me if I was ready. I actually decided to answer honestly and shook my head "no". His response? He scowled at me and told me that was the wrong answer! That's the kind of person he was. 

4. He said if my mother were alive, she would have been very disappointed that I quit studying with him because if she knew he wasn't the teacher meant for me, she could have told him to stop teaching me a long time ago. Well this one takes the cake. He doesn't know that before she died, she asked my brother and me if we were progressing with our teacher. She asked us if we wanted to switch teachers. We said no because switching teachers and getting to know someone else is hard and takes work. My mother did not believe he was the teacher meant for me and she would not be very disappointed that I quit studying with him. In fact, I truly believe my mother would be so proud of me today for everything I am and everything I've done. If she were alive, she'd probably have given me an earful about quitting piano at the time. But I would have told her the truth. I would have told her everything. And she would have understood. 

She definitely isn't disappointed in me if she could see me now.

You know what I hate the most about him? This was 2007 when he said this about my mother. My mother died in 2004. He didn't go to her funeral. 

He didn't go to the funeral of the mother of two of his very best students. My orchestra director was at her funeral. My 7th grade science teacher was at her funeral. My algebra teacher was at her funeral. My English teacher had already told me she couldn't make it but she had shown me her condolences in other ways. My school principal was at her funeral. These four women took a day of their own PTO to come. My piano teacher could not rearrange his schedule to come.

Let's let that sink in. 

And to think he has the nerve to say what he did to me in 2007?

5. As if I want to be his student in the near and distant future. I'm ashamed to even tell people I was his student at all. 

What kind of a heartless jerk was teaching me piano for 12 years? 

There were a lot of red flags over those 12 years. I just missed them all or didn't notice them the way an adult would have. After all, I was 17 when I quit. How many 17 year olds have great intuition? How many 17 year olds are perceptive enough to read people? Not to mention, my own father did not defend me. It took almost another 17 years to begin to see everything clearly for what it was. For how abused I was in this student-teacher relationship. 

I still cry thinking about this and reliving these memories. I cry because I was once this excited little teenager wanting to get votes for a music competition who is now filled with anger and hate at these memories. I still cry because I know I will never be separated from these memories or from him unless I cut music and piano out of my life completely. And I know I will never do that. But I don't give him any credit for anything beyond textbook knowledge. I went from someone who swore off music at 17 for the rest of her life to someone who made it into a career.

He didn't create any of that. 

The Garage Saga: Part 3

This is the third part of the Garage Saga series. If you missed part 1, and 2, you should start there first. 

Last time, we left off with the garage company not having us on their schedule. This was Wednesday, September 21st. The office called us back later that afternoon and said they could install Friday morning the 23rd. 

So my husband rearranged his PTO and swapped Thursday for Friday. On Friday morning, the installer arrived around 11:20 am and began installation. As he was installing, he informed us that there were no studs for a portion of the wall where the track was going to be installed so he would need a piece of wood. We told him we were not supplying this because we did not know we did not have studs behind the wall where the track would be. 

In addition to the lack of studs, he had also brought the incorrect length of track with him and it wasn't tall enough for what we needed it to be. So by 12:15 pm, he left, we had 15 holes drilled into our drywall, and no installation once again. My husband again called the company and explained to them this issue. He told them it was their job during the quoting process to figure out if everything was present - they are the experts. They should be telling us what we need, not the other way around. 

Holes shown in photo are larger than they appear.

On Friday afternoon, the office called back and told us they would be able to return on Saturday to complete the install. Third time's a charm? 🙄

On Saturday the 24th, the same installer arrived once again at 2:30 pm, and this, time he had the correct length of track as well as the wood we needed to make up for our lack of studs behind the drywall in that location. He immediately got to work taking out our existing garage track and swapping out the new ones.

I took the kids to church that afternoon while my husband stayed at home and supervised the install. At 6 o'clock as I was leaving church, my husband texted me that it was complete as well as a photo. I drove home with the kids and returned to a newly installed high-lift garage door. 

When we bought our house seven and a half years ago, we noticed the higher ceiling in the garage. At the time, it was also piled 10 feet high with the previous owner's stuff and a narrow walkway two sides around. I wish I had taken a photo of the mountain of possessions they'd shoved into the garage to show the house to sell. 

Before

Now, it has been modified so that we can potentially park four cars inside in the future. 

After

My husband has dreamed of this for years. I never thought much of it because it didn't appeal to me in any way and we didn't need more than two cars. I still drive the very same car I learned to drive on with my learner's permit as a high school student 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think this is more a testament to the reliability of my car than my driving skills, although my driving record is clean. 

I have to say, I love the high-lift more than I thought I would. The space feels larger. The opening and closing of the door itself is much quieter (I think most of this is due to a new system more so than changing to a high-lift). I feel like I'm driving into an industrial warehouse when I pull into our garage. It's actually really refreshing to come home to such a large space even before stepping foot into our house. 

It feels huge, even when the door is open.

Now, does the story end here? I. Wish. It. Did.

So on Saturday when the installation actually happened, they did not pick up the horizontal track for the garage door. The installer reused our old parts to complete the installation. When we called the office to notify them that the job was complete, my husband pointed this out to them and we did not pay our remaining balance because the work order had listed new parts to be used. If they didn't use the new parts, we weren't paying for them. The manager was not in at 6 o'clock on a Saturday so we were told to call back Monday to discuss the issue.

On Monday, September 26, my husband was working all day so he did not get a chance to call the office until 5:00 pm. The manager was gone by then, but at least we had called to show that we are doing our part. On Tuesday, September 27, he received a phone call from the manager at 8:25 am and they spoke for 5 minutes. 

She informed us that without using new parts for the install, they would not honor their warranty. In order to swap out the parts, they would need to send out their installer again with the necessary part, uninstall what's currently installed and swap the parts. I have no problem with them doing that, but I think from a business perspective, it is in their best interest to not waste their time doing so and to leave the part, honor the warranty, and give us a discount. That's just my personal opinion viewing this situation in what's best for both parties. 

As of today, Thursday the 29th, this has not been concluded. 

A saga, indeed. 

The Garage Saga: Part 2

If you missed part 1, read it here.

I waited nearly 24 hours for a response from Electrician #1 we were going to hire to compensate for the handyman who flaked on us. I never got one. So I searched online again and called another highly related company (Company A).

He picked up the phone on a Saturday and spoke with me about what we needed. I told him we were on a time crunch and needed this done by Wednesday of next week. He said they had some time Tuesday morning and they could come by and take a look. He did not give me a quote over the phone because he said all projects are different and they'd give the quote after looking at our specific house and project. I thought that was logical and fine and left it at that.

I texted Electrician #1 back, notifying him we would no longer be needing him because I did not receive confirmation he was going to try to get us on the schedule. Now this text he responded to in a timely manner. Strange why he didn't even text me an "ok" after my text the day before...

If he had only responded to my text promptly like he did
to all my other texts....he might have gotten hired for the job. 

The electrician Jonathan contacted (Electrician #2), did not respond with his availability until Sunday evening, and by that point we had already scheduled with Company A. We told him Monday that we had already booked with someone else.

On Tuesday, September 20th,  Company A came out to our house in the morning. Before he came, I received a text message with the name of the technician and a license number. Out of curiosity (and probably a good habit to be in), I looked up the number on the Texas Department Licensing and Registration (TDLR) website. The license number pulled up the company name but not the electrician himself. I called the office to inquire about this and was told it should have had the electrician's license number. She hung up saying she'd call me back after she figured out what was going on. I never got a call back. When he arrived, I asked him about this and told him I couldn't find his name or license number on the TDLR website. I asked him if he could show me his license. He couldn't because he didn't have it with him. The closest thing he could show me to prove himself as a licensed professional was an email dated January 2022 confirming his renewal for an apprentice electrician license. 

We put aside the license situation for a while and had him give us a quote for our project. Originally, we were wanting one outlet installed, but then it occurred to my husband if he wanted to complete the project in its entirety and plan ahead, we would actually need two. Company A gave us their quote and we looked at each other in shock. There was no way we were paying that much money for two outlets. I even asked the electrician if he could complete the job right then and there, and he gave me some wishy-washy answer which wasn't a confident yes**. After an hour and a half of going back and forth trying to see if there was any way we could get the price lower, we paid him his service fee and he left. 

My husband called Electrician #2 back and ask him if he still had availability for Wednesday. He said he did and could do the job for us and quoted us less than 1/3 of the price of Company A. Electrician #2 was also a master electrician and we were able to search and verify his license on the TDLR website. 

Electrician #2 called my husband later that day, Tuesday afternoon, and actually told him he finished his other jobs early and could arrive to install the outlets for us shortly. He arrived around 2:30 that afternoon and was done in an hour and a half. The same amount of time we spent going back and forth with the electrician from Company A was how long it took Electrician #2 to complete the job and charge us 1/3 of the price for it. 😐

We finally had two new outlets installed in the garage. The rest of it was smooth sailing, right?

Wrong.

On Wednesday, September 21, my husband called the installation company just to confirm the following day's installation schedule. When he called the company, they told him we were not on the schedule. 😳 We had paid the deposit of half the project cost over a month ago in August and my husband was told that the requested date (September 22nd) would be submitted for approval. 

What we were not told was that our request for that date was denied on their end and we weren't actually on their schedule at all. 😱

Tune in next time for part 3.

**I did my own research later and found that anyone with an apprentice electrician's license here needs to work under the supervision of a master electrician. I don't believe this company intended on sending anyone else out with him to complete the job so there's some questionable stuff there.