I was at a party just making small talk with the people around me a while back. About halfway through, one of the guests finally made it with his son. There was a basketball game that night so they arrived late. As the boy walked over, I said hi and asked him, "Did you win your game?"
I actually don't remember whether he won the game or not, but I do remember what he tacked onto his response: "Why does everyone ask me that?"
Now that was a question which made me stop and think. Why was I asking him that? I realized my question was formulated out of a natural response to want to know the outcome of the game - did you win or did you lose? But it also made me realize that by asking this question first, I had inadvertently moved the focus onto the result of the game rather than other more important things: sportsmanship, fun, skill, etc. We all tend to do that, don't we? Caring more about the result than the journey.
His question is very legitimate. And it's true, I do not want to instill the wrong idea that winning is always the end goal of every competition, contest, or race. Instead, I should have asked him, "Did you have fun at your game?" "Did you play well/do your best?" "Did you enjoy playing with your friends/teammates?" Those are much more lasting impressions than simply winning a game in itself.
This nine-year-old reminded me of an important aspect of life that I (and perhaps we collectively as a whole) tend to forget. Rarely is it ever simply about winning the game.
That's really good.
ReplyDeleteThanks.