Defying Fast Fashion

Ten years ago I went Black Friday shopping with my husband. It was our first Thanksgiving as a married couple and we went shopping at a bunch of stores. I was excited someone else could help me pick out clothing and give me feedback on how they looked. He has always been – and still is – better at fashion than I am. 

Facebook reminded me of this trip because it showed up on my newsfeed as a memory. I had conveniently spread out the items and taken a photo to “show off” my purchases. There were 10 items total which I had purchased. 

- 1 pair of flats
- 1 pair of black booties
- 3 sweaters
- 1 dress
- 1 blouse
- 2 pairs of pants
- 1 pair of jeans 

Original purchases in 2014

I was drawn to these flats because of the price, the quality/brand, and the style. They were priced well and I wanted a versatile pair of black flats. The last pair I owned last me many years and I knew they didn’t scratch the back of my ankle like many pairs of flats notoriously do. The unfortunate side was the color – an off-white suede. It was going to attract lots of dirt and dust over time and wouldn’t look bright for long. That’s most likely the reason why they ended up on the clearance rack. Fortunately for me, I’m not a fashionista and I didn’t really care. If they could be functional for me for a decent period of time and priced well, I would be satisfied. I enjoyed wearing these flats for many years. I even wore them once through mud by accident. They were never quite the same after that, but I kept wearing them for about a year before saying goodbye. They lasted me roughly 4-5 years if I remember correctly. That’s not a bad longevity for a shoe which cost me less than $50 and was in my rotation about 50% of every year. 

These black booties were my first pair of short boots or booties. At this time, I was still diversifying my closet so I wanted to own a pair. These were priced well, my size, and looked cute. With a three-inch heel, they were pretty killer paired with a pair of skinny jeans. I wore them every now and then, but there are limitations to how quickly you can safely walk when in three-inch heels. I tend to like walking faster than slower, so that did limit the number of times I wore these. They were almost treated like dress shoes. 

I bought three sweaters on this shopping trip because I was building up my sweater collection. Sweaters were not my thing growing up. I didn’t like wearing bulky clothing. However, as I got older, it grew on me when I found the proper style, material, and fit. One of these sweaters was labeled dry clean only. I wore this sweater very sparingly until I decided one day to wash it at home in my machine. It came out not looking too different than before from what I could tell. From then on, I wore it a lot more knowing I could wash it at home with little or no consequence. One of these sweaters ended up being very scratchy and I didn’t enjoy it. After years of storing it season after season to maybe be worn 1-2x per winter, I decided to say goodbye. The third sweater has a more baggy fit. Sometimes I’m not in the mood to wear something so loose-fitting so it’s not necessarily a go-to item in my closet, but I don’t have a reason to get rid of it. 

This dress was not a great purchase. It was heavily discounted which is what led me to purchase. However, it didn’t fit extremely well and I wasn’t in love with the design. I remember wearing it occasionally, but sometime in the last decade, it has been scrapped. At 24 years old, I was still clinging onto lower priced items and hadn’t yet learned the value of spending worthwhile money. This dress was not worthwhile money and shows because I have no recollection of ever wearing it (although I know I did at least a few times) and I no longer have it. 

I really liked the blouse when I bought it. This was when I realized I liked the material chiffon in my blouses/tops. I have worn this blouse many, many times. My most prominent memory in this top was at my company Christmas party a while back. I haven’t worn it recently because I have inherited/found other blouses of similar material which I enjoy more. This particular blouse is also starting to wear due to the many washes it has endured. It’s still in my closet, but it may be retiring in the near future. 

The two pairs of pants I bought from this photo have served me well. One of them was a light pink pair of jeggings. The other was a pair of khakis. I wore my jeggings a lot. They’ve been through many work days with me where I could dress them up to be less casual. Over time, the light pink has faded into more of a dirty white. This pair of pants has also been relegated to a corner of my closet because I have other pants/jeans I prefer over them. However, I haven’t been able to bring myself to get rid of this pair. The khakis have been one of my favorite more formal pants in my closet. They too have come to the office with me on many days. I’ve worn them to perform at festivals as an accompanist. The waist was rather large at first – large enough to be big, but not large enough to be unwearable. Over time, and with the changes in my body, they’ve fit better. I don’t necessarily wear this pair of pants all the time, but it’s a comfort to know they’re in my closet. They probably won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. 

Lastly, my jeans. Oh, this particular pair of jeans. Looking at this photo, I almost couldn’t pinpoint which pair of jeans it was. But I knew. They have faded severely over time. I loved these jeans when I bought them. It was extremely unfortunate they were the pair I was wearing at the time of this project. I really thought that was the end of them, but I have continued wearing these jeans for the last three years. They are on their last leg and will be recycled or donated soon. 

I spent less than $200 on these 10 items from Black Friday 2014. About half of them are considered “fast fashion.” I impressed myself at how many pieces I still have in my closet today. 

Editing aside, everything has faded a few shades...

 

Much like everyone else, I do get bored of the same clothes over and over again. But I am also frugal and pragmatic. If something can be bought once and last me forever, I am inclined to want to do so. Clothing, sadly, will never meet those requirements as even the most carefully worn and washed fabrics will show age over time. But I will take care of them so they can stay as long as possible. 

I wonder how many of these I will still have in another 10 years...

For the Need of a Plastic Bag

Life as a mostly stay-at-home mom with some part-time working on the side is pretty mundane for the most part. I pack lunches. I grocery shop. I do laundry. I wash dishes. I clean toilets. And then I get my 3-4 hours per day where I feel like a competent, knowledgeable human being. Honestly, I love it. It's the best of both worlds with my two dream jobs which occasionally compete with each other.

But sometimes, the mundane has small excitement. 

I was at Costco this week picking up a few items (yes, I mean "a few" in the Costco sense. Six to be exact!) and had an interesting encounter. A man came up to me and said,  "Excuse me, where can I take this one?" *tugs my bag gently*

His actual reference was to locating the red plastic bags used for meat/seafood. In truth, I myself had been darting my eyes around looking for them just minutes prior. So I pointed my finger in the direction of where they were. He saw them, his face lit up, and then he went on a mild sprint to get them and return back to where I can only assume his cart was. 

I forgot to take a picture of the meat in my cart, but here is a representative pack of meat in a plastic bag, similar to the one the man was asking for. 

 

 

 

 

Now I'm not going to lie. There were a few seconds there where my brain was actually wondering if he was politely asking if he could take the ribs I had just chosen and bagged for myself. Or if he was asking me where he could find the ribs. (I was standing right next to them). English was not his first language and with the way he had phrased his question, it could have been misunderstood in a few ways.

His use of the word "take" was not the most appropriate. "Find" would have been the ideal word choice for his request. "Take" is the word which led my brain to wonder if he wanted something I had which was more valuable than a plastic bag. He also tugged at my plastic bag which made me wonder if he wanted my actual item/the bag with my item in it.

Our encounter was actually cute. When I think back on the way he approached, his mannerisms, his voice, it brings a smile to my face. On the contrary, I can see how someone without an understanding for language and patience for differences could have been annoyed or even angered at this situation due to a misunderstanding if his or her brain led them to the possible conclusions I listed above.

I've always believed the primary purpose of communication is to be understood. I still believe that. Through all the language barriers, nonverbal gestures and reading body language can communicate a lot in itself. However, the piece often overlooked is the bias the person receiving the communication adds to the situation. If I had an issue with someone touching my things or reaching into my shopping cart, I could have gotten very defensive very quickly without meaning to. If someone is triggered by grammatical errors in speech, an initial response might be one of shutting down or getting angry.

The more you know, the better you can be. Never stop striving to know.

Choosing Kindness

Kindness is hard to come by these days. Everyone is busy with their own lives, their own kids, their jobs, their vacations. So when you do come by kindness, it's rare and special. I'm not just talking about the kindness of using kind words when talking to people. I'm talking about going out of your way to do something nice for someone else that you have no obligation but wish to do so by personal choice. 

I went to Costco this week to pick up a few things. A few things always turns into a few things + a few more things + a few more things. I had two legitimate items I needed. I left the store with....6+ items. But when Costco discounts Halloween-themed ravioli for $2.50 a pound, you buy it! (unless your children won't eat black and orange food. That's a different story...). I love Costco, but I'm digressing.

I checked the ingredients - no artificial colors to get orange and black!

When I left the store, I was running slightly behind and needed to go get my daughter from school. However, I also knew that when I rush things, I mess things up. So I was talking to myself as I was loading the groceries into the back of the car - take your time, do things right. I made sure to pack the cold items into my cooler properly so nothing would puncture or leak - nobody wants to bring home cracked eggs. And I loaded everything else carefully in so as not to touch the muddy stroller wheels.

Then, I realized I had a drink and three hot dogs to put into my car. So I picked up the food and drink, went to the side of my car, and attempted to ask my son to open the door. Of course he couldn't hear me because his door wasn't open and only the trunk was. So I rearranged my hands so I could swing open my door and put the food in the car. As I was placing the hot dogs in the middle tray by my seat, I heard a man call out to me that he was going to help me return my cart. I saw him pull my cart away. Initially, I thought he was going to go shopping with it, but then I saw him take it to the cart return located a few spots down from my parking spot. 

When I returned to my trunk to close it, he had just finished putting my cart back and was walking back to his car. I called out another thank you and waved. I don't know his name or who he is, and he doesn't know who I am. We probably won't run into each other again, and if we do, we may not even recognize each other. But his gesture was very kind and I won't forget it.

Choose kindness for someone. They may not forget it either.

The Third Life

Central Market hosted a special tasting activity for kids in celebration of their 30th anniversary earlier this year. I signed the kids up to go and it was a fun mid-morning activity for us. They enjoyed all the samples (as did I!) and getting to decorate a cupcake at the end.

Central Market did such a wonderful job planning this event. I couldn't stop marveling that each cupcake came in a to-go container perfectly sized for the cupcake. Not only did they plan to-go containers, but the containers had a little "moat" around the border of it to catch the excess sprinkles and toppings the kids were using to decorate. Talk about genius. Whoever is on their design/marketing/packaging team better be getting the recognition he/she deserves. 

Along with the free samples and cupcake decorating, they provided each child with a vegetable planted in a mini pumpkin. Can you tell they really put thought into planning this event? And it was free 😱

My kids got a broccoli plant and a kale plant. Having some experience with gardening and growing plants, I knew the vegetables weren't going to last long if they stayed in the pumpkin. I was already finding it difficult to get them enough water because they'd wilt within 24 hours. The roots needed more room to expand and grow if the plants were going to stay alive. I have a garden, right? Why not plant them there?

That's exactly what I did. I cut the pumpkins open carefully and transplanted my kale and broccoli to my patio planter. They would be neighbors with cilantro and pepper plants. Not bad, right? 

It wouldn't have been except all the leaves on both my plants got eaten within a few days. I was merely left with stems and the babiest of leaves. I wasn't entirely sure who the culprit was, but I knew it was someone who could reach the patio planter. To no surprise, they left my pepper plant and cilantro alone. So with their first life claimed, I removed them from my planter and transplanted them back to small nursery pots and placed them about 3 ft higher on my plant shelf.

My vegetables started growing again atop the shelf. I saw more leaves peeking out, and slowly, they grew. After a few weeks, I decided to move the broccoli back into the patio planter. I put some strong smelling herbs around the plant to deter pests in hope that they'd leave the leaves they wanted alone. 

One evening, I felt the urge to check my garden at night. It was around 10:30 pm, and I decided to walk outside to take a quick look.

All the leaves were gone, again. The second life was claimed. 

I moved the broccoli back into a nursery pot and it stayed next to the kale. For those of you who do not plant and aren't familiar with the ins and outs of growing, growing speed is exponential, not linear. Less leaves = slower growth. More leaves = faster growth. Due to having all the leaves chewed off yet again, my poor broccoli plant had to start over on its third life. 

I kept it up on the shelf and have not transplanted it into any larger container yet. This is what she looks like on her third life.

I'm not expecting to eat any broccoli this winter, but I might get to eat some of the leaves if I'm lucky. It's too bad my plants can't talk as I'd really like to hear the story of the first two lives first-hand. I guess it will forever be nature's secret. 

My plants remind me to start anew when possible. Because the alternative is death. Just keep growing.

The Lifeline

My children love playing outside and I love letting them play outside. I had posted recently about our backyard transformation which has allowed our children so many hours of fun outside. 

One of the things I've been able to do is to put potted plants on our patio. This way I can grow my plants, move them as the weather changes, and my husband doesn't have to do creative mowing between pots if they were sitting in the grass. 

I can't remember why anymore, but one day, I allowed my children to use my gardening scissors outside to cut something. I told them what they could cut and then let them loose. Well....as kids are, they started cutting some things which I didn't say they were allowed to cut. For the most part, it didn't bother me. However, I later realized my son had cut all the pink flowers off of my plant and put them into his bucket.

 

 

His gesture was sweet and genuine - he liked the flowers and he wanted to cut them all off so he could collect them and save them in his bucket. I read a book in college about this mentality gone wrong. In a four-year-old? Cute. Grown man? Inappropriate and disturbing. I don't remember there being anything graphic in the novel itself, but if it were not in my list of required reading for my class, I would never have thought to read it. 

My son got an earful from me about how I didn't say he could cut the flowers off my plant. And how flowers die when you cut them off the plant because they are separated from their life source. Their outdoor play ended shortly after and we all went back inside.

That evening, I was outside for something completely unrelated and I noticed the plant was already starting to push out new buds. You can see the little pink beginning to emerge and blossom.

 

Plants are resilient. They will grow back given the proper environment. I actually took my son out the next morning to show him the plant and the new flowers that were growing on it. I think he was semi-scarred I was showing him the plant he wrongly cut so he got weepy again. But in no time, he was outside playing as normal and forgetting that he ever cut them in the first place. 

I'm still learning as a parent that reactions are more memorable than actions. I myself am a product of a childhood of negative reactions, ones I hope not to pass down to my children. It's an uphill battle, one I lose more often than I'd like to admit. But this plant was a reminder to me: if you are connected to the lifeline, you will grow and renew.
 

We Got a New Microwave!

So typically, I enjoy house projects. I like picking out new things and doing some minor construction. However, I don't enjoy it when it happens unexpectedly. Therefore, I did not enjoy having to replace our microwave when ours started to die. 

It began one evening when we were microwaving food for dinner, and suddenly, the normal "heating" sounds didn't come on as we hit the start button. There were lights, the turntable rotated, but we could tell something was off. 

The next day, I tried using the microwave again and it seemed to be fine. This lasted about a week until it happened again. This time, we told ourselves it was time to get a new microwave and say goodbye to this one. It has served three owners well in its 20-year lifetime. 

 

 

 

Goodbye.

 

 

 

It took a little bit of online searching to realize that built-in microwaves are really just countertop microwaves with trim around to make them look built-in. After we made this realization, it was much easier to shop for one as countertop microwaves are aplenty. We purchased one and were able to pick it up that same day.

Out with the old....in with the creativity.

Putting in the new microwave was not as easy as it was cut out to be. The old trim kit had a base riser which the old microwave sat on. Well, lucky for us, the new microwave didn't work with the same base riser because the legs of the microwave were positioned differently. Unless we wanted to spend another $150-$300+ dollars buying a new trim kit that may or may not give us more grief in installation, we were going to have to get creative to find a way to sit this microwave at the proper height.

This is where we went into the garage and dug around to see what spare boards of varying thicknesses we had. Surprisingly, we have quite a few. The difficult part was finding just the right combination of boards (because we didn't have one at the thickness we needed) to raise the microwave enough to get the trim on properly.

 

 

 

This board was removed from one of our new bathroom vanities during a bathroom remodel because it interfered with the way the plumbing came through the back. It came in handy this time and served as one of the layers of our base riser.

We kept the front plate from our existing trim kit to use around the new microwave. There was a lot of test-fitting and pulling the new microwave in and out to see if it would fit. Perks of renovations and construction. Doesn't this make you want to get your hands dirty in some house projects? No? Me either.

We started this project on September 30 and finished on October 1, but it only took us 4.5 hours. How was this possible? See if you can read the clock.

We felt very accomplished after finally getting the microwave in and properly fitted with our existing trim piece. It was also very late and we were tired. We're happy to have a working microwave again and hope it can give us a good 20 years just like the last one. I told my husband, the next time we need to replace our microwave, we're going to turn the opening into a shelf so the microwave can sit inside it and there's no need for trim pieces or getting the microwave to sit at a certain height. 

Or we'll move before it happens. 😂

The Gift of Time

My memory is not as good as it used to be. I still probably remember more than the average person, and more in the specific areas I choose to remember, but I'm definitely forgetting more these days. Facebook reminded me of a memory from nine years ago during the first year we owned our house. I had actually completely forgotten our house came with a deck, a really ugly deck. 

 

Our house has a roof overhang running along the edge so the raised decking board made the entrance to the deck very low - I believe it was less than 8 ft from wood to wood. This was undesirable and we weren't going to keep it. Mentally, a bit part of my thinking was also I didn't want to keep anything left from the previous owners. We weren't going to keep it, so in the fall when the weather cooled down, we took it apart with our own two hands.

This was what it looked like once we'd gotten rid of all the above-ground parts. My husband and our neighbor eventually pulled each one of those concrete posts up one by one with a farm jack we'd borrowed. 

For a while, sitting on our patio meant this was our view. I used to close my eyes and imagine what I wanted our backyard to look like. I wanted to see a fence that wasn't oxidized. I wanted to see a cozy place to get together. I wanted to see love flourishing. I wanted to see a freeze-frame of life being lived to the fullest. And for a long time, when I opened my eyes, all I saw was an aged fence and some stretch of grass. 

A lot of love has been put into this house. I've blogged about it over the years. You can revisit them at this link if you wish. For the longest time, we put off the outside because it was "less important" than the inside. This was mostly true for a long time until our kids came along. They needed a space to play, a place to be free to run around, and a place to explore. After we had a patio paved in about 1/4 of our yard space, everything else snowballed - the playhouse, the plants, the toys, etc.

I snapped this picture of my children playing outside together one afternoon. Our backyard is not magazine worthy. It's not designed by Joanna Gaines or Shea McGee. And it almost always looks a bit disheveled and awry. But this picture completes my vision from years ago I used to merely imagine with my eyes closed. I love getting to watch my children play together and keep each other company. I love that I can grow herbs, vegetables, and flowers right on my patio. It's so satisfying to be able to walk outside with a pair of kitchen scissors and a bowl and return shortly with freshly cut green onions, basil, or peppers.

As I get older, I'm reminded of the passing time by my greying hair, added wrinkles, and joint aches. It's easy to forget how time can change things for the better, especially when it comes to inanimate or intangible things such as feelings and spaces. Over time, this backyard will continue to evolve, and one day, the playhouse will be gone. One day, the sandbox will be a relic of the past. One day, there will be four adults from our family sitting on this patio enjoying this space together.

That's the hope.